10 Self Reflection Questions You Need To Ask Yourself

 source: https://www.thedailymeditation.com/self-reflection-questions

1. What are you happy about from the past year that you will continue next year?

- I am happy that I have more freedom now. I just need to make the most of life. create good memories. forget the traumas and move forward.

2. Did you take anything for granted?

- My health. My Mental Health. Maybe some People that truly cared for me. that I did not see because i was chasing affection from the other people. I learned my lesson, and hopefully this year is better.

3. Have you reached self actualisation?

- 75% haha. I getting there. 

4. Is my lifestyle 100% healthy?

- i am trying my best. starting this month. I finally tried running. it hurts the crap out of my whole body. but I am really determined. I am also trying to eat healthy. as much as I can. 

5. Are there negative thoughts that I need to get rid of?

- overthinking. (even though my intuitions are 100% true :D), saying YES all the time. my very very poor judgement to a person. (actually I already know they are a bad news from the first moment I met them but I'm just stubborn to myself :D) My therapist told me that I will always attract this kind of people because of my past childhood trauma. This year, I will choose to avoid them. God, please give strength.

6. Do I have any fears I need to conquer?

- I learned that when you lose a loved one, especially a family member, I also lose part of myself. it was hard. I am so fragile and vulnerable right now. I did not have the same courage I have when I was in my 20s. I am such a mess right now. but I am slowly healing. slowly fixing myself.  

7. What is one mistake from last year you can learn from for this year?

- oh you know it 😉😜. Never again!

8. Am I doing everything I can for my relationships? Could they be better?

- i am not doing anything! hahahahhaaha that's the problem!

9. Are there any negative people in my life? What should I do about them?

- LEAVE. RUN.

10. What is one thing I can do right now to change my path?

- STOP LOOKING ON THE PAST. move forward! only forward and don't look back!

30th

30th.

11|20|2021

I just turned 30! holy moly. where did all the years go? How did it all happen?

I still can't believe I've been alive for 30 years!

Okay let's take a look back, and Let's see what's been going on with my life right now. Just a few recaps.

Family - well wow! what a huge 360 degrees turn. I don't even know where to start.

hmm. Mama passed away last year, in February 2021. Man, that was so traumatic. from the moment she was brought to the hospital. can't go into details right now. but I will write it here soon.

Then my Kaka Zen, after fighting cancer for about 3 years. He already reaches the finish line. it was sad. and toxic. and depressing.

it was even harder in the months after. I was in really bad shape, MENTALLY.

Man! that was crazy.

Relationship - don't even make me start! haha. Well, it was not that bad. there were few suitors. but the timing is just not right. I know... when?? haha, when will I be ready? I don't even know... to be honest, I am totally fine without it. or maybe it's just not what I need right now...👀😩

Career - On this part, I am confident to say that it's going pretty well. My work was finally noticed by my Supervisor and Boss. I received an increase.. and incentives. So far it's doing all right.

Health - I am trying to live healthily, and eat healthy as much as I can. I try to be physically active. I am 72kg now. I know... OMG. been trying hard to be physically active to lose weight. I hope I can do better this year.

Mentally.... hmmm I'm a total mess. and it doesn't help that I am surrounded by toxic people. hayyyy

I know what to do. I try to speak with a therapist. I am also taking some calming pills. so far it helps. I hope I will get better.

I am now living in Taguig. yup the same old house I grew up with.

I am not sure what is the right next step. I wanted to move out but there are so many factors to consider. ahh..

it sucks to be an adult.

Overall I am fulfilled and satisfied and proud of myself for everything that I have achieved over the past 30 years of my life. it wasn't easy. especially since I did everything on my own.

I can say that I enjoyed and valued my 20s.

and I am soooo looking forward to my 30s. I am very excited.

they say the 30s are all about being more confident, and stable... that's all I ever wanted all my life.

I am hoping and praying to be at peace in my 30s.

Hoping for the best!

 

WFH

 

 

When you first heard of the set of “Work from Home”]

The first thing that will come to your mind is “wow, that’s so convenient!”

There is no other place like HOME. Therefore, working at a place where you are comfortable is efficient as most of the studies say. It is indeed convenient and suitable. Especially to those who have a family, a single parent, or a person who is taking care of a sick family member. To some, it is a privilege. A privilege to spend more time with their loved ones. To avoid the hassle of commuting. That is why that is one of the factors that most people are considering in applying for or accepting a job offer.

When the pandemic happened, to be honest, I was quite thrilled. Finally! I can work wearing only my pajamas. No need for me to wake up early, and fall in line to catch the first Bus trip. I can finally stay at home and take care of my brother who is sick at that time. I can prepare his meal, buy his medicine, and do household chores. Before, I can only water the plants on the weekends. It was a perfect setup for me.

That is what I thought. For at least the first 2 weeks… haha

Don’t get me wrong, everybody knows I am an Introvert. I like my space. I need my recharge time. I have no problem if I don’t go out of the house for a few days.

But I missed going to the office every day. I missed dressing up and putting on some makeup. I miss my morning routine with my co-workers. Chatting about the traffic, getting coffee or breakfast. I miss meeting people in the meeting room. Face to face. I miss the hugs and the gossip at the pantry! I miss giving high fives to the guys… little friendly punches… haha

I miss seeing my crush! Pretending to go to the bathroom just to catch him walking in the hallway. :D I miss the “kilig” feeling. I also miss having lunch with my boss. Korean barbecue at night and maybe a few drinks. hayy

  

 

 

 

untitled

They say, I am the reserved type, shy, kind, one who doesn't get mad, the one who understands, the one who is always there, always available, the one who is talented, the one who has high standards, the one who is caring and lovable. 

but...

has low self esteem, no confidence, so choosy, too sensitive, a little too clingy and needy but sometimes tend to be cold as well.

I took the Myers-Briggs test to better understand myself. and I learned that I am INFJ.

INFJ. according to Myers-Briggs this my personality type. INFJ stands for Introversion (I), Intuition (N), Feeling (F), and Judgment (J), which describes the INFJ’s core characteristics. Both introverted and people-oriented, emotional and rational, thoughtful yet at times spontaneous, INFJs can feel like walking contradictions. They read others well and easily “see behind the mask” that people unconsciously wear; ironically. https://introvertdear.com/news/infj-secrets/

qualities such as..

1. On a different wavelength

2. Highly perceptive of others

3. Absorb other people’s emotions

4. Amazing long-range forecasting abilities

5. Both emotional and rational

6. Creators of deep emotional intimacy

7. True introverts

8. Sensitive to conflict

9. End up in one-sided relationships

10. Looking for their soulmates

What's it like for a Promdi to move in Big Cities

To a promdi like me, Leaving the province and moving to Manila is a really huge step and too scary. You will need to adjust with the place, the dialect, and the people. I never really imagined leaving Mindanao before. Because life is just so simple and perfect in Davao.

Until One day, I realized there is so much things that I can learn and do. They said, Good things come when you step out of your comfort zone. Because you can only grow if you are willing to feel awkward and uncomfortable when you try something new.

This team have helped me grow in so many ways. And made me discover things I never knew I could do. And skills I never knew I had.

In 2016, I was so lucky to land a job in a Japanese multinational company and world's fourth-largest IT service provider. (And yes for a 24 year old promdi, It is a BIG deal.) Everything is overwhelming.

In this team, I met the best, the silliest, most caring, most jolly, the best boss, the best seatmate, lunchmate, drinking buddies an awesome squad and a family I've ever met.

All I could think of is I'm so lucky. No job or task is hard enough and there was never a day I wouldn't miss just to be with them to work and play and laugh!

I never knew I could experience all of that at work. Suddenly, adjusting to everything wasn't so hard. 🤗

This is just an appreciation post to the team that I left, 5 months ago. To the team that I truly miss every single day, that upto now, It's just so hard for me to forget and move on.

Katy Perry said, "Comparison's are easily done, once you had a taste of perfection" (from the lyrics of Thinking of you - the first song I ever sang for my Team, wala lang, maisingit lang....🤗)

Thank you guys! To every single one of you. Thank you for all the memories and best experiences that for sure I could tell to every person I met in the future...

You are the reason why I encourage other promdi like me to reach higher! To explore and and be a risk taker and step out of their confort zone.

Ngayon lang ako nakapag post about this kasi I was still hurting before from leaving you all..

I love you guys! See you around! Lablab!!!!

- Marwa, Maw, Maw-Maw, MamMaw, Mawra dela torre, Moira Salazar

P.S. balik na ako... Hindi na ako galit.. 🤗

Do it on my own

November 2018

 

I always do what I think is right. Because I wanted to please everyone. Desperate of affection.  But now, I'm so tired. People can be mean, they will take advantage of you. They will tear you down.. I wanted to show them, that they can't do it to me anymore. I'm through with all of that. I work so hard to get where I am today. So that I can get rid of them. And do things that will make me happy. Putting myself first. Do things for me. Do it because I wanted to. Not because someone says so.

 

11-18-2018

Sunday, 18 November 2018

11:54 PM

I love to Sing.

I love to Play the Guitar. I love the sound of the strings that goes along with the tone of my voice.

I love the feeling every time I sing a song. Every word, every melody, the vibrations that I felt in my throat.

I love that whenever I Sing, it has an effect on people. That they feel what I feel through the words and the melody.

But I easily get insecure. In my head, I know that I can do better. I’m not satisfied with my sound.

It was never enough for me.

because of you

every night I feel worse.
I don't know where all of this sadness is coming from.
I don't know how much and how long I could take it, I don't know how long I could hold my breath.

it's suffocating sometimes. alcohol doesn't help. sometimes I hurt myself. and it felt so good that I realized, I have to stop. because I'm scared of God.

I kept on denying it. but deep inside I knew. It was all because of you...

02-15-2019

5:32 pm

I decided to tell you. You are one of the most important people that I truly deeply care about, so much, that sometimes I can't breathe. I thought it will change if you knew. I thougt I will get you back if I told you. Because if you came back. I would never leave.

IMMATURE as you might think it is, but Im just really longing for your attention.

i know you have something big going on. but its not fair that you would just ignore me.

02-14-2019

7:45pm

I have a piece of paper on my hand. after thinking it through for a million times. Im still undecided.

I never regretted those 2 years. It was fun. It was challenging. It was overwhelming.

But despite of all the achievements and improvements, a part of me was still insecure. less confident. with low self esteem. feeling incompetent.

Somehow I'm terrified. What can I do now? what am i good at? what do i want? Am I happy?


- M

im back!

its been.. i dont know.. 2 years? since i last wrote here.

Still regretting that time that i decided to delete all my post.. :(

but its also nice to start all over again.

A clean slate.

So, where should I begin?

-M